Self Fulfilled Prophecy

It’s August 2014 and it’s safe to say that I’m on the other side of a heartbreak that took me YEARS to occasionally forget. The body is adaptive in that way—protective. It smooths the edges of what once felt impossible and so piercingly sharp. But every once and again a residual truth will surface and I’ll realize there’s more to go—small mountains still to move and the weight of that can press me for a moment. Sometimes the moments pass quickly and sometimes they linger.

I feel it most acutely in routine grocery store trips. That’s weird, right? By standing in an aisle, sorting through my very short grocery list for my small family, the lighting is always so harsh, and the people around usually seem to have more of a purpose than me.

In the years of smoothing the edges my perception and hopes and what I want for my life shifted. Somewhere from within the tangle of that particular heartbreak I stopped trusting that good things do in fact…occur. To other people, surely. But not to me.

It’s so ridiculous, right? Just saying it out loud, it’s so ridiculous. But it’s also true. And what I’m realizing is that I’ve been toting around this particular truth for far too long, totally unaware. Meaning, I’ve let it be true. A self fulfilled prophecy.

But maybe it’s the last threshold. The last little bit to cross.

Because just to give voice to that truth is to dismantle it. To somehow make it less true or to understand that it’s been only me being ridiculous to myself. Making it less important and more part of the past–and the mountains get smaller and the miles less dense.

So I move quickly through grocery stores because after all it’s just food and I can put just as much effort in a meal for 2 as I could for 3.

August 03 / 2014
Author Ginger
Category LOVE
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On the Road

Jaxson, Newton Neighbor and I are going to hit the road early tomorrow morning for a 7 hour trek to Oklahoma City. Where we will visit my mom (who moved there at the beginning of the summer) and my grandparents.

Nothing beats a little car riding with my boys, a big fat fountain soda, and a little sing-a-long action. (have to practice my next karaoke song for Ellen & Julie).

You can enjoy the playlist I am making as well:

See you next week, Omaha!!

July 31 / 2014
Author Ginger
Category Mixed Tapes
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3 Day Blinds Queen Bee

About 4 months ago, I decided to add to my growing design career by becoming a design consultant for 3 Day Blinds. I knew I wanted keep my designer/project manger position with Birdhouse Interior Design but I also wanted to make sure I didn’t leave an ounce of free time on my schedule.

So when I’m not a mom or shopping to find the perfect vintage piece for a Birdhouse client, I’m traveling across the Omaha area filling homes with any type of window treatment their hearts desire.

Obtaining my knowledge of all things 3 Day came in the form of traveling. Places like the Bay Area in Northern California, Colorado, Vegas and then lastly a short stay in Phoenix. Now that I’m home I am a traveling studio, office and sometimes home. I don’t work under a studio’s roof with 3 Day, I literally have all of my samples neatly packed into my little 2009 Sonata Hyundai. Daily rolling up my sleeves and applied my signature aesthetic to hustling my samples from home to home in a pair of heels. (of course)

Please find out more about my new position and all of my offerings here.

Cheers!!

 

July 24 / 2014

Remembering Why I Started…

(the above photos are of me on a regular day. with my regular makeup and wardrobe using my regular iPhone)

I started this blog because it was the one thing I could do that didn’t require outside validation.

I was able to share who I was whenever, wherever and however I chose, which made whatever I was doing honest. Isn’t that why we make things to start? Because it’s how we FEEL. It’s the expression of our truth.

Honest in a way that whether it was successful or not is my personal best. “There’s no design, my flaws are fine” -The Shins

I shared because this was a platform that (whether or not it had an audience) had a stage for me to flail around on. By sharing here, it was easier to handle the blow of failing or the joys of succeeding in all of my experiences in a genuine way.

And so I’m making it a point to get back on this site and share again. Because this is why I started.

 

July 22 / 2014
Author Ginger
Category Missions
Comments 1 Comment

The Things Along the Way

When I was eighteen I fell in love with a man who would go on to become the father of my child. When I first met him I was struck by the clarity I could see my future. The future felt so good and clear with that love.

Three years later (after our son’s 1st birthday) it was as if  the future and love had become slightly out of focus.

So this is a little ditty about growing, loving and maturing as a single mom accepting the unfocused future.

Jaxson was 3 by the time I earned my bachelor degree. I was 2 years into the single parent balancing act. I felt as if the bachelor degree that I held was now the golden ticket to a life. A life set up in my head by 2 goals.

There are things you cannot learn in school and with each passing year these 2 goals evolved by all the things along the way.

Goal #1: A home. This meant a mortgage because that is what you did as a parent. Right? You own a home and that’s what gives your child a childhood to remember.

Redefining: I am still not a home owner. But my child is growing up in a home I created in a rental. I have no want to be a plumber, an electrician or a water heater installer. So why not continue to rent from my landlord who jumps through hoops for me when I call? It’s still a home.

I’ve learned along the way to get over it by getting out of the way and letting life happen. So in the meantime, Jaxson is growing up in a rental being loved unconditionally

Goal #2: (deep sigh) Love. A love from a man for Jaxson and I as his family.

Redefining: I haven’t found a love that lasts. And so this is redefined quite frequently. I’ve had my heart broken and broken another’s heart. Each time I turn around with love I face plant into an abrupt brick wall out of no where. But I still want love. I want love because I am human.

I’ve learned along the way to get over it by getting out of the way and letting life happen. Accepting love from my family and life long friendships as enough. As if they are my family’s love story.

Continuing on is what I’ve learned along the way. Investing in my worth and my son’s happiness rather than a piece of paper I received from a university. Also, to believe in the face of overwhelming doubt. Because the heart is the human story and that is the one thing along the way to follow.

April 29 / 2014
Author Ginger
Category Little Mr., LOVE
Comments No Comments
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